Post by TygerShore on Jun 5, 2009 16:23:10 GMT -5
Ok, well I'm writing this story...here is the draft of the first little bit of it ;D Hope you like it and please comment!!! I don't mind if anyone criticizes it because it will help it become a better story in the future if I know what does and doesn't work for the reader
It doesn't have a title yet so....here it is!
New New York was alive with movement in the muggy afternoon. People rushed through the crowded streets like ants, all trying to reach their destinations. No one noticed a man sitting just inside his shop watching them as they passed by with a mixed expression of hope and boredom. The man had one hand holding up his head and the other resting over the power button of his rusty second-hand fan. The man's dull green eyes lit up as one of the people left the surging crowd and stepped a foot closer to his shop than other people. As the man walked past the shop -- clearly only moving towards it to walk around a slow paced old lady carrying shopping bags -- the man in the shop sighed.
A voice piped up from beside the man, activated by his sigh "When was the last time you got a customer, Finnegan?" It's metallic voice held a tone of innocence and the man knew that it was only asking him a question out of curiosity...not mocking him.
"A month ago, Garry." The man replied. "The day that the other shop opened. How many times will I have to tell you just to call me Finn?" The voice beside the man didn't reply, knowing not to point out yet again that it had been programmed to call it's master by their first name.
Finn brushed aside a renegade piece of his blonde hair that was constantly falling in front of his eyes. He muttered about having to get it cut but didn't think any more about it. Finn let his eyes stray along the shops on the other side of the street. His gaze kept moving up the street until he had to lean over to see further. His face darkened to a frown as his eyes focused on the shop on the corner of the street.
Flashing neon signs buzzed to attract would-be customers. The largest of the signs nearly spilled over onto the building of the shop beside it and stated clearly "Jack's Android Repair Shop". Finn disliked everything about the shop. He didn't know why someone would spend so much money and electricity to have all of those blinding signs...yet they seemed to work. Even as Finn was watching, a tight-suited business man walked into the shop.
"You're going to go blind if you keep staring at the other shop." The tinny voice beside Finn pointed out.
Finn tore his eyes away from the street and turned the the voice. It was a small humanoid robot, standing a mere eight inches tall. The only features on it's block-shaped head were it's pair of black pixely eyes and it's mouth which was really only a flap of metal covering a dusty speaker. Garry had long -- almost akward -- arms and legs with a thin body to connect it together. It was a dull grey colour and one could easily tell that it was an old model by the clunky movements that it made while doing simple things such as turning it's head. Garry was perched atop a pile of tiny bolts. In one hand, it held a bolt and was polishing it with a cloth held in it's other hand.
Garry's hand holding the cloth made slower and slower circles across the bolt as it noticed a look of a plan in Finn's expression. Finn answered the robot's doubts with a single word.
"Espionage."
Garry leaped to his feet, scattering the bolts in all different directions. "What? Are you out of your mind?" It hollered, waving it's stick-like arms in the air. "If you even whispered that word near a police-bot, you'd be sent to jail!"
It doesn't have a title yet so....here it is!
New New York was alive with movement in the muggy afternoon. People rushed through the crowded streets like ants, all trying to reach their destinations. No one noticed a man sitting just inside his shop watching them as they passed by with a mixed expression of hope and boredom. The man had one hand holding up his head and the other resting over the power button of his rusty second-hand fan. The man's dull green eyes lit up as one of the people left the surging crowd and stepped a foot closer to his shop than other people. As the man walked past the shop -- clearly only moving towards it to walk around a slow paced old lady carrying shopping bags -- the man in the shop sighed.
A voice piped up from beside the man, activated by his sigh "When was the last time you got a customer, Finnegan?" It's metallic voice held a tone of innocence and the man knew that it was only asking him a question out of curiosity...not mocking him.
"A month ago, Garry." The man replied. "The day that the other shop opened. How many times will I have to tell you just to call me Finn?" The voice beside the man didn't reply, knowing not to point out yet again that it had been programmed to call it's master by their first name.
Finn brushed aside a renegade piece of his blonde hair that was constantly falling in front of his eyes. He muttered about having to get it cut but didn't think any more about it. Finn let his eyes stray along the shops on the other side of the street. His gaze kept moving up the street until he had to lean over to see further. His face darkened to a frown as his eyes focused on the shop on the corner of the street.
Flashing neon signs buzzed to attract would-be customers. The largest of the signs nearly spilled over onto the building of the shop beside it and stated clearly "Jack's Android Repair Shop". Finn disliked everything about the shop. He didn't know why someone would spend so much money and electricity to have all of those blinding signs...yet they seemed to work. Even as Finn was watching, a tight-suited business man walked into the shop.
"You're going to go blind if you keep staring at the other shop." The tinny voice beside Finn pointed out.
Finn tore his eyes away from the street and turned the the voice. It was a small humanoid robot, standing a mere eight inches tall. The only features on it's block-shaped head were it's pair of black pixely eyes and it's mouth which was really only a flap of metal covering a dusty speaker. Garry had long -- almost akward -- arms and legs with a thin body to connect it together. It was a dull grey colour and one could easily tell that it was an old model by the clunky movements that it made while doing simple things such as turning it's head. Garry was perched atop a pile of tiny bolts. In one hand, it held a bolt and was polishing it with a cloth held in it's other hand.
Garry's hand holding the cloth made slower and slower circles across the bolt as it noticed a look of a plan in Finn's expression. Finn answered the robot's doubts with a single word.
"Espionage."
Garry leaped to his feet, scattering the bolts in all different directions. "What? Are you out of your mind?" It hollered, waving it's stick-like arms in the air. "If you even whispered that word near a police-bot, you'd be sent to jail!"